In 2021, I was on the phone with my coworker and friend. Let’s call her Mara. We had a knack for long conversations, especially around how to make our workplace better. We’d go back and forth on specific situations in which we required some feedback, different perspectives, or, quite honestly, emotional validation.
I was working in the nonprofit industry, in an expensive city, so it was inevitable that we often pondered how to get paid more for all the work and heart we put in every day. Mara asked me how much I was able to contribute to our 401k plan (we had a 4% match). Honestly, I had not thought about that benefit at all and let Mara know that I was likely not enrolled and had not done a thing to learn about it. In classic Mara fashion, she interjected before I could finish my sentence to tell me I was leaving money on the table and that I should run, not walk, to enroll.
*It’s worth noting (and will post about this eventually in more detail) that it’s ridiculous for companies to 1) not help new employees (especially young, financially avoidant ones like me!) navigate their benefits and 2) that enrolling in your benefits isn’t automatic and just part of regular onboarding.*
She also suggested a personal finance podcast (shoutout Her First 100k), which helped her learn more about what was right for her in the very opaque world of personal finance. For those interested in podcasting and getting the 101 on personal finance, you can scroll all the way back to some of her first episodes, which get into the specifics on how to start. Please message me if you want me to suggest specific episodes given where you are in your journey!
Soon thereafter, my boyfriend, now husband, and I started to listen to Her First 100k like it was our job. We drove over 13 hours (one way!) to vacation on the beach and listened to the podcast the entire way down. And probably the entire way back up (when I wasn’t napping or so hungry that I couldn’t pay attention to anything). Why does 95 have no good food options?
Perhaps I needed some time to internalize, or perhaps I was still carrying some fear and lack of confidence around my ability to make money decisions, but I continued to not take action (other than obsessively listening to personal finance podcasts). My husband did the opposite and opened his first self-directed investment account (basically an investment account outside of his employer’s plan) based on her advice and what was right for him.
When he took action and opened up his own investment account, I remember feeling relieved… he took the action I still could not, and if it all went wrong (we weren’t sharing finances at this time), I would be ok! Even though people way more experienced than me were all saying that it would be ok, I guess I still thought it was a silly gamble.
And here’s the thing. His investments did not do super well, but he didn’t lose EVERYTHING (and many years later his investments are crushing!). And so I did the research and created my own self-directed account, started putting money into my 401k, and played with my numbers using different budgets and retirement calculators. Things started to get real, but I kept things simple, and I didn’t obsess (too much!) over decisions.
Time passed. Actually, 4 years have passed. And so much happened in those years that steadily improved my money psychology, my confidence in money decisions, my capacity to handle financial complexity and also the beauty and freedom of money in my life. For example, I am now self-employed and have taken the action to learn about my retirement options, which I am directly responsible for (no employer to set that up or make decisions for me!).
I am so proud of where I am today, and I know this reality is because of all the little steps I took to get here. This is all to say, I know this transformation is available to you too.
Let me know what you think of this post! What resonates? What is challenging? Was there a moment or a person who first made money feel less scary for you? I’d love to hear from you.
Warmly,
Your personal finance friend